Sunday, September 29, 2013

2.29.2013: 351

Jack drove through the crowded city streets, back out towards the country and all the way to the middle of nowhere. Everything felt somehow different. His birthday meal was a disaster, his relationships were crumbling, and all he wanted was to go home to a house in Nashville, Tennessee where a loving smile would be there to greet him, not this ghastly place on the outskirts of Chicago. He pulled into the drive and got out at the gate where the code was changed weekly. Fortunately it wasn’t snowing at the moment. Still, the cold chilled him and he was glad to slip back into the heated seat of his Mercedes as the looming black iron gates swung slowly aside. The whole night had been an exhaustion. He thought back ten years to his twenty second birthday. How different everything had been then.
He’d been a medical student at Vanderbilt, letting his studies slip and getting caught up in the life that he’d always wanted, rather than the life that others had planned for him. He’d considered dropping out of the medical field and going to study art or music or a thousand other things he’d always wanted to try. But helping others was his calling. Everybody said so. He could still see his old room, in that little campus apartment complex that he had shared with three other guys and a pet rabbit. He remembered it so clearly.
That night, ten years ago exactly, the apartment had been empty, except for the two of them.
“Happy Birthday, my love,” She’d said, like she meant it. And nothing else mattered besides the sound of her voice. He remembered the way everything else faded when she talked, all his worries would vanish and the world would somehow seem like a good, wholesome, beautiful place just waiting for someone to make it even better than it was. She’d believed that, that someone was him. And she’d made him believe the same.

It had been a different world, and a different life. And now it seemed like a different man looking in the mirror. 

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