I am starting to be gripped by all the frightening reality.
It occurred to me today that a huge meltdown is probably coming. But for tonight I'm going to pretend that it's not and just...rest. I'll rest in knowing that it's all going to be okay somehow. There are some days when I just don't have the energy to care anymore. It startles me, because I used to care about everything. I could not ever not have an opinion about something. Now it just seems so much easier to sit back and choose not to feel happy or sad or angry or anything at all. I like it.
It's strange, but I like it. I love not feeling the burdening weight of emotion. It is delightful to bask in apathy for a few months before I have to leap back into life and figure out just who in this world I'm actually going to be.
So even though I know it's coming, tonight I'm free from worry. Just me being content in the fact that I'm never going to be perfect, and neither is anybody else.
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